Inhibited Sexual Desire

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Inhibited Sexual Desire

It used to be more, more, more. Now it’s bore, bore, bore—or even chore, chore, chore. For whatever reason, sex has lost its appeal. The only thing you want to do in the bedroom these days is pull the covers over your head and hope your partner doesn’t try to get frisky.

What’s going on? Well, the problem could be inhibited sexual desire, defined by doctors as a lack of interest in sex or an inability to become sexually aroused. The possible causes vary greatly. Sometimes there’s an obvious reason, such as a hormone deficiency or depression. But more often there’s a hidden problem: excessive stress, trouble in your current relationship or past abuse. Counseling, alone or with your partner, often helps get your sex drive back. The natural remedies in this chapter—in conjunction with medical care and used with your doctor’s approval—may also help reignite your sex drive, according to some health professionals.

See Your Medical Doctor When... You notice a drop in your desire to have sex and are unable to discuss the matter with your mate. You lose interest in other activities that you once enjoyed greatly.

Flower Remedy/Essence Therapy

The Bach remedy Crab Apple is often helpful, according to Susan Lange, O.M.D., of the Meridian Center for Personal and Environmental Health in Santa Monica, California. “Crab Apple is good for women who feel discomfort or shame about their sexuality or who simply feel ‘dead’ inside,” she says. “Crab Apple can help get energy flowing again.”

She also recommends the essence Sticky Monkey Flower, which helps balance sexual impulses. “This is good for women and men who feel either excessive sexual desire or none at all. It helps them achieve equilibrium,” says Dr. Lange.

Flower remedies/essences are available in some health food stores and through mail order (refer to the resource list on page 635). For information on preparing and administering flower remedies/essences, see page 37.

Food Therapy

Fava beans and soybeans are excellent sources of dopamine, which can enhance sex drive, says Julian Whitaker, M.D., founder and president of the Whitaker Wellness Center in Newport Beach, California. He recommends increasing your intake of these fiber-rich foods to improve your libido. Note: A very small number of people of Mediterranean descent may have a reaction to fava beans. If your skin and eyes turn yellow from jaundice within three days of eating fava beans, see your doctor.

Other lean foods may also do the trick, but in a different way, according to Dr. Whitaker. He explains that fatty foods can curb production of testosterone, the hormone that controls sex drive in both men and women. By cutting down on the fat in your diet, he says, you can increase testosterone production, improving sex drive.

Homeopathy

Use a 30C dose of one of the following remedies once a day until improvement is noted, says Chris Meletis, N.D., a naturopathic physician and medicinary director at the National College of Naturopathic Medicine in Portland, Oregon. If you weep easily, are timid with a passive personality and do not tolerate heat well, Dr. Meletis recommends using Pulsatilla. Ignatia is a good remedy, he says, if your inhibition is due mainly to fear and anxiety, with symptoms that are worse in the morning and better while eating. If you have fear and anxiety, cannot relax and feel worse with music and heat and better in open, airy rooms and with pressure against your back, Natrum muriaticum may be helpful, he says.

All of these remedies are available in many health food stores. To purchase the remedies by mail, refer to the resource list on page 637.

Imagery

See yourself on a boat in the ocean with a crew composed entirely of the opposite sex, says Elizabeth Ann Barrett, R.N., Ph.D., professor and coordinator of the Center for Nursing Research at Hunter College of the City University of New York in New York City. Envision yourself lying on a massage table, facing down and wearing little or no clothing. Feel the warm sun on your bare skin as a gentle, cool breeze flows over you. A gorgeous man or woman approaches you and begins to give you a massage with what feel like velvet hands. As the massager rubs perfumed oils on your skin, you feel tingling sexual vibrations throughout your body. The massager leans over and whispers a beautiful sexual message in your ear that you have been waiting to hear all of your life. When you hear this message, open your eyes and keep this message for yourself.

Dr. Barrett suggests using this imagery every evening before bed, when you are as relaxed as possible. Continue the imagery for as long as the images and good feelings stay with you. If nothing happens with the imagery, says Dr. Barrett, let it go and try again the next night.